Twin nieces. 3 years old in 2013, so they are now a whopping 10!
Last week I ended with FOLLOW THE CLOUD.
This post is about where one cloud ends and the other
begins. Important concepts (in big sketchy lines)
that influence a relationship.
A twin connection differs from having no boundaries.
Exhibiting no boundaries is known as “symbiotic”
or intertwined, in diagnoses of for example,
Having a sense of Boundaries.
Boundaries are complex, and influenced by many things.
First, boundaries have to do with attachment.
Bowlby has done groundbreaking and magnificent
work in theories in this area.
Look at your relationships with family members and friends.
Are they casual, or on and off, depending on circumstances?
Are they dependable, peaceful, or explosive, such as fights,
running away and more of these interactions?
Or are they distant, or superficial, giving you the sense
of being alone in the world?
How have your friendships developed?
Do you have many superficial friends,
or a handful enduring friends? How much
emotional distance do you keep?
Do you tell all, and how much do you keep private?
Issues cause a misshapen identity
This is the blossoming REAL you!
Floral Fri Foto, FOTD, Nature Notes
A big influence on Issues are Childhood Traumas
These can be neglect, physical, emotional, or
sexual abuse, being bullied by others, etc..
If you had anyone abuse, healing is needed to
receive God as a loving father/parent, who says
“he will never leave you, or abandon you,”
also when you do not live up to what you think
his expectations are.
Wished that the psychological boundaries
of these arches could be seen and experienced
Was automatic immediate obedience required
from parents, or was negotiation allowed?
These expectations do not stop once one moves out
of the house. These may continue even to a parents
death. These expectations are projected unto God,
as a father, or parent.
Also projected onto Jesus, as a big brother.
In my family of origin was the expectation to
immediately perform and satisfy the parent’s latest whim.
The result was that since my teen years I refuse to make
any impromptu speech, sing a song, or whatever is
asked at last minute. Sometimes I refused on purpose,
because I did not want to be “owned.”
I insist on needing time to prepare and process before.
The sense of boundaries in early life influences,
if and how much you allow any authority figure,
also God, to change you.
How to deal with Change
Is change a form of torture to you? Or do you welcome
it, trusting your father (God) knows best,
that he knows the future, so you can depend on him?
Better to lose your leaves for a season, than to die!
Sunday Tree, Nature Notes
Your boundaries also influence your ability to receive,
and to depend on him. If you have been taken advantage
of, you will have difficulty receiving any gift, comfort,
or help. You for sure will have trouble to depend on God,
also because …
Being independent is good.
Not so, in a twin relationship with God.
He knows that “you can do it” that “you are qualified, or
have the skills” but you don’t have to prove anything to him!
A whole different mindset, eh?
It is not because He needs a boost of his ego!
Also, it is lodged in your memory, when you receive a gift,
something is expected in return. Healing has taken place
when you can receive his gift, eternal life.
Again, he loves you without any conditions,
and without measure. Will you let him love you?
If the Creator takes care of these two mourning doves,
would he not be able to take care of you?
Weekend Reflections, One Word Sunday: two
More about trauma
Every event experienced as a trauma, is one!
Even though others would not qualify it as such.
It is more than those “unfortunate events”
that once took place. Trauma becomes tied to
how you see your own identity,
and your self esteem (how you think others view you).
It influences how much you are able to trust God,
and let him guide you.
Note, I did not say “control” because he has given man
the freedom to choose (no matter what life has dealt you).
Too many view themselves as a victim of circumstances.
They grab the bottle or the needle to deal with it,
instead of pounding the doors of heaven!
Some edges of these clouds are somewhat nebulous (blurry)
The change will be evident when you experience God
as “leading” and “guiding” you, instead of controlling you.
THANKS TO ALL HOSTS
Thankful Thurs. * Thurs. Doors * Sky Watch *
Floral Fri Foto * FotoAWeek * Timeless Thursdays *
Weekend Reflections * Fri Bliss *
Sat. Critters *
One Word Sunday: two * Sun Tree * Sun Best *
Our World * Weekly smile * Makro-Tex: hobby *
Nature Notes * Pictoral Tue * Travel Tue *